Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.
What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock.
How can you make a turkey float? You need two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
Have you heard? Santa and his reindeer landed on the top of an outhouse. As they skidded to a halt you could hear Santa holler out, 'I SAID THE SCHMIDT HOUSE!'
What happens when you eat tinsel? You get tinselitis.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
Roses are red, violets are bluish. If it wasn't for Christmas we'd all be Jewish.