Are those your tits or did Laurel and Hardy leave you their heads?
Your wife said she liked seafood so I gave her crabs.
You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and Oh my God, it's coming towards us!
You're so ugly if you stuck your head out the window they'd arrest you for mooning.
Have you ever seen an asshole wrapped in plastic? Take a look at your driver's license.
You're so clueless that you couldn't get a clue if you were standing in the middle of a field full of horny clues during clue mating season, wearing clue musk and doing the clue mating dance.
You're so dumb it takes you one hour to cook minute rice.
You're so dumb that you went to the Whaler's game to see Shamu.
Excuse me, I can't seem to find my dick. Do you mind if I look in your mother's mouth?
You're so fat a picture of you would fall off the wall.