Out of ten million sperm...why you?
How long have you been relying on your personality for birth control?
If you can't swim stay out of the gene pool.
(*Sign above a urinal in the Men's room.) What are you looking at? The joke is in your hand.
(*For use with a girl.) If you had no feet would you wear socks? No? Then why do you wear a bra?
You smell so bad you make Right Guard turn left; you make Secret obvious; you make Speed Stick slow down; and you get Sure confused.
You're about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
Who am I calling stupid? I don't know. What's your name?
When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under 'accidents.'
When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth you were holding an umbrella.