Your head is so far up your ass you couldn't see the sun if you were standing on it.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

I'll bet unimaginable thoughts come to mind when you're asked to stuff the Thanksgiving turkey. 

Guess who will be the biggest ham at the Thanksgiving dinner!

Are you the model for the gargoyle statue?

Ah, yes...a victim of an incomplete education.

Nice ass...too bad it's on top of your shoulders.

Is talking out of your ass an acquired trait or a hereditary one?

You could be nice but you'd rather be yourself, huh?

If bullshit was dynamite you'd blow this place apart.