Sunday, February 13, 2011


When you enter a room the mice jump on chairs.

I saw him earlier. He was in the bathroom getting a drink of water and the toilet seat fell and hit him on the head.

Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent. 

He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear.' Then again, he doesn't know the meaning of most words.

Do you want me to accept you for who you are or do you want me to like you?

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Can I borrow your face for a few days while my ass is on vacation? 

Before you came along we were hungry...now we're fed up.

He's better at sex than anyone...now all he needs is a partner.

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

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