Q. What is the number one way to drive a man crazy? A. Marry him.
Overheard at a frat party: Boyfriend: Baby, since I first saw you our freshman year, all I've wanted to do is make love to you really badly. Girlfriend: Well, last night you succeeded.
During college orientation the chancellor addressed the incoming class. "The girls' dormitory will be off-limits to male students," he said. "Anyone caught breaking this rule will be fined $50 for his first infraction, $100 the second time it happens and $250 if he is caught again." A male student stood up and shouted, "How much for a season pass?"
After repeatedly warding off her date's advances during the evening, a pretty coed decided to put her foot down. "See here," she shouted, "this is positively the last time I'm going to tell you no." "Good," her date said. "Now we can start having some fun."
A frat boy walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "A glass of your finest Less, please." "Less?" the bartender asked. "Never heard of it. What is it, some kind of foreign beer?" "I'm not sure," the student replied. "My doctor told me about it. He said I should drink Less."
A coed walked into her boyfriend's dorm and caught him in bed with a midget. "How could you?" she asked. "You promised you were not going to cheat on me anymore!" "Take it easy," he replied. "Can't you see I'm trying to cut down?"
A secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The boss called her into his office and said, "I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. Who said you could come and go as you please?" "My lawyer," she said, smiling.
A girl was telling her friend that she wasn't sure why she was so popular around school. "Do you suppose it's my figure?" she asked. "No," he replied. "My personality?" she asked. "No way," he replied. "I give up," she said. "I think that may be it," he said.
Worried about her marriage, a woman visited a psychic. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt," the seer said. "Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Shaken, the wife gasped, "Will I be acquitted?"
Once upon a time a guy said to a girl, "Will you marry me?" She said no, and he lived happily ever after.