All of your ancestors must number in the thousands. It's hard to believe that many people are responsible for producing you.

I would have been your dad but the guy in front of me had correct change. 

Your dick is so small you piss on your balls. 

(*For the ladies when a guy won't leave you alone.) I'm sorry, I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

You're so dull that if you were a Spice Girl you would be Amish Spice.

Nice face. Want a gun? 

The best part of you ran down your mom's leg.

If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave his ass and walk him backwards. 

You're so stupid you couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Last time I saw you, you'd lost some weight. It looks like you found it.