His family tree is like a light pole...straight.
The only time they have running water is when someone pees.
I'm not going to say he's stupid but I can't figure out how else to describe him.
She's as ugly as farting out loud in Church.
Remember the weird clothes that Mom used to make us wear? You can stop now.
You're so lazy that if you woke up with nothing to do today, you'd still go to bed with it only half done.
You remind me of opium; a slow working dope.
I hope your face ends up on a milk carton.
When you and your mom have an argument it's a battle of the wits...Nit versus Dim. When your father gets involved it's Nit versus Dim versus Half.
(*Say to someone when something goes wrong.) That can happen to anyone...it just happens to the stupidest first.